TODAY I'M A LITTLE HAPPY AND A LITTLE SAD...

Okay today is my 32 birthday. I know I should be happy. One day all aboout me.Yeah right! Aside from the just another year older thing I am a little sad because today its been four years since I buried my mom. If my mom were alive she would have probably bought me clothes or some workout attire. But today that is a gift I will never recieve. (sniffle, sniffle)As I was looking back over my scrapbook I came across a page about Josey. It read..."If anyone ever needed a miracle it was me. My mom had just died two days before my 28th birthday. She was my rock and I was devastated. When she was sick I prayed so hard for god to heal her. I can remember making deals with him...if only he would heal her I would never ask him for another thing as long as I lived. Well she wasn't healed. I remember being so angry with him questioning the reason he needed her so soon. I don't know why god didn't heal my mom but what I do know is you were the miracle I prayed so hard for. You were sent to save me. To make me look forward to life again. To help me see the good in the world. No God didn't answer my prayers the way I wanted him to. That's because he has a better plan. The reason I know this is because he gave me you. You are my miracle." I know it's a little deep. I know god gave me this little guy but I also know my mom had a lot to do with it. I can just see her now standing with God looking over all the little ones to choose from picking out Josey for me. I can just picture her giggling to herself at how quirky he was going to be for me. I believe Josey is and always will be her gift to me. Thanks mom you always seemed to know just what I needed.